Pippin Says
by kaitokitty
Summary: The Fellowship is about to go crazy with boredom when one hobbit thinks of a brilliant idea. The story of a simple game gone...not so simple.


Disclaimer: None of the Lord of the Rings characters, places, events, etc. belong to me, they all belong to the wonderous and intelligent Professor Tolkien! I can only attempt to win some Lord of the Rings DVD's on some sweepstakes thing...

The Fellowship was hot and bored.

They were making all haste to destroy The One Ring of course, but not even an elf can go on indefinitely without stopping to rest once in a while.

Normally the stronger of the group (Aragorn, Legolas, or Boromir) could go hunting for food, repacking supplies, healing each other, or practicing their weaponry while the others did whatever they could to help.

But this particular day was different,

The food was more than enough, (thankfully),

The supplies had all been packed and reorganized three times over, (amusingly),

None of them were in need of healing, (quite surprisingly),

And they were too hot to attempt care about their weapons.

So they were all sitting around (very unbecoming of them, but at this point they could not be bothered about Sauron or The Ring) sweating and groaning.

After a long silence, the hobbits spoke up, they had –of course- been talking all day, but their earlier conversations were all along the lines of:

"I'm hungry…" or "I'm hot" or "Stop it Pippin." the occasional "I SAID STOP IT PIPPIN!" but most often it was "I'm bored…"

This was their most interesting speak since that morning.

"We could play a game!" Pippin offered,

"Why didn't I think of that Pippin." came the sarcastic reply from the normally good natured Frodo.

Pippin ignored him. He was either at this point to desperate or too excited to be rid of the boredom to care.

"Let's play 'Pippin says'!" Pippin offered

"What! You come up with the lamest commands! Let's play 'Merry says'' argued Merry, "It's much more…thrilling!"

"Ha! As if that's a good thing!"

"It is! You just don't have enough gut!"

The two hobbits argued for a while until Legolas intervened.

"So how does one play this ... 'Pippin Says'?" Legolas inquired,

"tis simple enough, you have to follow my commands only when 'Pippin says...' but if you follow my commands when Pippin doesn't say, you're out!" Pippin eagerly explained.

"It sounds interesting enough, and one is willing to do anything to avoid boredom on trips as these" said Boromir

"It's much more fun when it's 'Merry Says' when I can command you to climb into a tree and mess with beehives, or to steal some of Farmer Maggot's crop, that's much more enjoyable!" Merry added, looking around in case anyone was willing to change their mind. No takers.

"Only for you, and besides, you only got to give out the dangerous commands if you won a bet!" Frodo said, still sore from the last time he went for the Maggot's mushrooms.

"Mr. Frodo's right," Sam said " 'sides, you can't go poking at beehives or stealing mushrooms here, we're in the middle of nowhere!"

"Well we could always command each other to leap off that giant statue of Strider's ancestors, or mess up Legolas's hair, or braid ribbons into Gimli's beard, or go sledding on Boromir's shield, or..." Merry was cut off as Legolas cleared his throat and said "Why don't we just play 'Pippin says'? it sounds a lot saf...uh...Pippin suggested it first anyway..."

"You see cousin Merry? Everyone likes my idea better, much less worrisome and much more reliable!" Pippin smiled, before dodging a stray pebble that somehow left Merry's hand and was making it's way towards Pippin's head.

"'Pippin says' it is then!" Aragorn decided with something that looked suspiciously like relief, before Pippin and Merry could say more, and Pippin happily stood onto a large rock that served as his stage.

"All right, look at me, everyone!" Pippin commanded.

Everyone looked.

"No no no! You're all out!" you have to wait till I say 'Pippin says: look at me'!" Pippin explained shaking his head.

Gimli looked confused, "Is your name not Pippin?" at Pippin's answer of affirmation he then said "If you are indeed Pippin, then how are we to know when Pippin says and Pippin doesn't say?"

Fortunately for Pippin, Legolas understood, (seemed to at least) and was more than happy to explain to the dwarf. "It is plain enough, dwarf, obviously this game is commanded by more than one person, perhaps we all close our eyes, and we have to hear the difference in their voices."

"That says much for the legendary hearing of the elves" Aragorn deadpanned "Clearly you are both wrong, the game is obviously played like this: Pippin commands something, and we each have to see who is brave enough to do it!"

"Ah I see, so it is similar to 'Merry says' is it not?" Boromir thought aloud, with a hand on his chin,

"Exactly! Let's play 'Merry says' then!"

"Merry! How could you? Pippin's still up there"

"That can be fixed..."

"Merry!"

And thus it continued, until Pippin finally gave a shout: "PIPPIN SAYS, SHUT UP!" there was a long silence "um...if you please." he added.

"By all means young hobbit, pray, continue." Said Gandalf, who was quite silent up until this time.

"Ok then, I have to say the words 'Pippin says' and then command you to do something, or else you don't do it, understand now?" Pippin exasperatedly said, after receiving several nods of assurance, Pippin could finally continue on with the rest of the game without any problems.

Or so he thought.

"No! Pippin didn't say to come down after jumping!"

"I hardly see what I could do otherwise..."

"Pippin said to place your left hand on your right eye, not to put your right foot on your left ear!"

"Pardon me dwarf, it seems as though you have violated the rules, Pippin never said to make such a loud racket when singing our favorite song"

"Shut up elf, I don't recall Pippin telling you to continuously run your hand through your hair"

"I don't recall Pippin saying not to"

"He never told me not to make noise either!"

"Actually, I believe his words were 'PIPPIN SAYS, SHUT UP'"

"That applied to you too"

"Did it? I believe he was looking at you then,"

"LEGOLAS, GIMLI! WILL YOU TWO PLEASE CEASE BICKERING!" (Aragorn was getting quite annoyed at this time)

"Why ever not? Pippin never said..."

"Oh shut up!"

Pippin once again half-heartedly restarted the game. "Pippin says, whoever talks from this point on until I allow them to will take first watch tonight."

That got quite a response, while Merry and Frodo looked proudly at their little cousin.

"Now...Pippin says..." He paused when he noticed Legolas making strange signs and gestures at him. "Yes Legolas? You may speak."

The gestures and sign language only continued.

"I believe the elf has finally lost his voice and is making his point by means of an interpretive dance." Gimli snickered.

The Fellowship stared at Gimli.

Legolas grinned.

Gimli smacked his forehead.

"Pippin says, Gimli takes first watch tonight."

Gimli grumbled, "That was your plan, wasn't it, elf?" It was more a statement than a question, and without warning, he prodded his axe handle into Legolas's side.

"AAAAIIIII!" Legolas yelled, but no harsh rebuke was forthcoming, instead, Legolas continued to make signs and angry gestures at Gimli.

"YOU ARE INFURIATING, ELF!" Gimli yelled and charged at Legolas.

The fight that ensued left the hobbits, the two men and the wizard speechless.

"All this for a simple game of Pippin says!" Pippin wailed, "can none of you just play a game! Ai! I am never doing this again!"

Unfortunately, by then no one was listening, for the remainder of the fellowship was too busy trying to avoid Gimli's battle axe than offer words of comfort.

Finally when things quieted down a bit, and the Fellowship were all laying about once again, complaining about the heat, and being thankful for the boredom, a voice spoke up out of the blue.

"So...anyone up for a game of 'Merry says'?"

Fin

_Written by FC, BETA read by ED. First attempt at Lord of the Rings fanfiction... please let us know what you think! That way we'll update faster! really!_


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